This morning while walking, I saw Joan by the creek with her dog Sarah. Instead of the usual “hi” or “good morning” or “how’s it goin’”, Joan hit me with:

“Do you get any bites?”

My leg had been itching so my thought was, “Yeah, I think I got a mosquito bite behind my knee”.

Except that would have been my perspective, and that wouldn’t be within her character to be talking about. In a flash of a second, I realized she was asking me about my home being on the market.

“Two people looked at it so far,” I answered.

That was a far cry from my perspective, because I actually really like living here and may not even sell if the right buyer comes along.

Yet she wouldn’t know my perspective, because you might be the first person I’ve told that, too, unless I’ve shared that sentiment with my girlfriend. I don’t remember.

From her perspective, the “for sale” sign is prominent right on the corner, and everyone driving by in the neighborhood sees it vividly.

The point for effective communication and relationships is, as they say, to “get out of your head and into the head of your prospects” (or your girlfriend/boyfriend, parent/family member, friend, associate – neighbor) – and relate to them from their perspective.

Because most people are so within themselves, they don’t take the time to consider that, for example, you may not know what he/she is talking about.

For example, when you heard Joan ask whether I got any bites, you probably had no clue what she was talking about. I mentioned I had been walking by the creek so you may have thought she was talking about catching fish. Or I said she had a dog, although it wouldn’t make sense for her to ask whether I had been bitten by any dogs lately.

It’s important to keep this issue of the other person’s perspective in mind, because most people can’t see past it and take for granted, even, that you share the same perspective.

My girlfriend is typical in this, especially with close, intimate relationships. Sometimes she has said, “You mean you can’t read my mind?” when she realizes that, that moment at least, I was not in her perspective and didn’t know what she was talking about.

Yesterday, too, around the same point on the path, I was talking with Paul, who’s perspective politically was on the more progressive end of the spectrum. He automatically thought I shared that perspective, because it was his, and he projected it outward on me, as well.

So do your best to remember that most people do that.

They take it for granted that you’re like them, and know what they’re talking about as well as agree with where they’re coming from on the issue.

And when you’re talking with them, remember they will interpret what you’re saying – from their perspective, so anything you realize is dependent on your perspective, you’re then able to clarify and explain so they can understand it as part of their perspective.

….Did you get any bites from this?

Resources:

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Tags: 30 day think and grow rich video course, perspective, think and grow rich video